WARNING!!!! HIGHLY SCIENTIFIC DATA REGARDING FABRIC!!!! March 13 2015
A recent study has indicated that FABRIC gives off certain pheromones that hypnotize women and cause them to purchase ungodly amounts of it.
When said fabric is stored in large quantities in enclosed spaces, the pheromones in the fabric can cause memory loss and induce “The Gathering Syndrome”, a phenomenom similar to the one chipmunks experience before the onset of winter.
Sounds tests have also revealed that these very fabrics emit a very high-pitched sound heard only by a select few known as “Quilters”. When played backward, the sounds are heard as chants, “Buy me!! Quilt with me!! Stash me!!”
Furthermore, pheromones seems to cause a pathological need to secret the fabric purchases away when one takes them home and blend them into existing stash. When asked by a significant other if the fabric is new, the reply is, “Oh, I’ve had it for quite some time now.”
There is really no hope to avoid these pheromones when entering a large fabric storage facility and scientists advise it best to leave debit and credit cards at home.
However, there is no avoiding the ability to suspend the sale! So, in actual fact, there is no known cure at this time…
AND WHO THE HECK WANTS THERE TO BE???
Author unknown but thankfully provided by a Grey County Quilter known only as "Lady Johanna"